Someone shit on the floor
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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