youre lurking in front of me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
