so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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