Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
