I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
