look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
