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• (619): View more from California

  he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?

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• (909): View more from California

  flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.

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• (518): View more from New York

  That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.

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