I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
