You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
from now on my penis is your penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES