I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone