some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.