what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit