first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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