don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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