Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize