Where did you get a picture of my penis
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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