i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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