Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
