Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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