even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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