DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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