She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
