i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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