I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
