okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
