I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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