doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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