my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
