sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
