I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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