your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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