I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize