Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
