LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
