Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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