what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
