you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
