bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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