haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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