I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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