ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
