I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
