Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
