I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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