quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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