Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
