Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
