yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
