I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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