you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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