It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
