i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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