He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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