I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
