girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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