ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize