Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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