I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
