I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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