I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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