I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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